Wednesday, 1 October 2014

Update over the last week

Went to Japfest with my boyfriend on Sunday. I wouldn't be really into cars or anything but it was really good. The weather was surprisingly great and there was plenty of boxy starlets around so, all was gooood! 

I had such high hopes for going back to college, but anxiety has got the better of me again. I'd forgotten how much it gets you down because I'd improved so much over the summer. On the bus back to uni last week I had such a bad panic attack I had to get off the bus 40 minutes into the journey and wait for my boyfriend to come get me. It was a horrendous experience, one of the worst panic attacks I've ever had. Luckily I have a very understanding boyfriend.
This week I ended up in hospital over night because I had a horrible fluttery pain in my chest and my pulse felt like it was skipping so I headed to the ER to get it checked. Thankfully the hospital is only a five minute walk from my apartment. Unfortunately I had to wait an hour before I was seen so by that time my heart rate had gone back to normal.. so they couldn't see anything abnormal. I want to think it was my anxiety that caused it, and it probably was, I just wish there was proof. I've come home for a few days now though, because when my anxiety is sky high, home is the only place I feel safe, and uni is the last place in the world I want to be. 

Thursday I'm going back up to my apartment so I don't miss too much college. I'm sure you can tell I basically hate uni/being away from home so I'm dreading it. I've a party to go to though, so I'm excited about that, haven't dressed up in ages. I was looking forward to having a drink or two, or ten, but stomach isn't so great so have to give the alcohol a miss, but I'm sure it will be a good night anyway. My boyfriends coming up and is going to stay with me for a few nights before going home, I'm super excited.

That's what has been happening with me lately. Hoping it can only get better from here. 


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